Wonder.

written Sunday on a flight to Chicago...

I can't help but wonder, as the five children behind me scream incessantly, what I am doing on this plane. The need for change in my life and the restlessness I feel have driven me to unexpected places...like this plane, like this flight.

I'm in a window seat. I never sit at the window; I only really ever sit in the aisle. It's not that I like getting up each time the inside people need to use the loo, but my knees get tight and I need to stretch my legs. This seat is surprisingly roomy, but then I didn't have much to carry on.

We flew out over the ocean and turned around to head back toward Chicago. Apparently that's what most flights out of LA do, but I generally sit in the aisle. I forget how close to the ocean LAX is. It looked really pretty today...the ocean, not the airport.

-Maybe someone should give that kid a pacifier or maybe...a Xanax-

MARIE ANTOINETTE played on the flight. I really like Sofia Coppola, but I missed the point of this movie. Visually it was beautiful, but lacking in most other ways. I'm glad I didn't see it in the theater. I put my shade down during the movie and brought it back up when it was over. Below me I saw a sea of brown open space. No houses, no buildings, just open space that looks like an elaborate puzzle from this altitude.

I opened my Vogue and read the first half of the the interview with Hugh Grant...I like him more already. I glanced to my left and stared in awe at the change in scenery. I saw white for miles, an endless blanket of snow. I'm not sure why, but a calm came over me while I looked down.

As I wondered what happened to the brown, the Beatles song "Across the Universe," came flowing into my mind...the version from the I AM SAM soundtrack, not the original...

Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup

They slither while they pass

They slip away across the universe

-Maybe if that kid could see the snow he'd quiet down; it seemed to work for me.-